My Cup of Mocha

When by @JamalJonerd

2011-09-20T19:18:00.000+08:00

(part i)

When i showed to you my fondness, you said that i'm full of dumbness,

When i told to you that you were my sunshine, you sat back and sounded with a whine,

When i spent my time and gave you a call, you labelled me as a pitfall,

When i was trying hard to make you smile, your grunt could be heard from a mile,

When i made my move to win your heart, you told me that you not in peart,

(part ii)

When my feeling started to deteriorate, you just waited and in the mood to celebrate,

When i decided to leave you alone, suddenly u behaved just like being hit by a cyclone,

When i picked up my heart that broken, u said that your heart being shaken,

When my tears just started to dry, your eyes just started to cry,

When i decided to walk away, only then .. u said that .. "you took my heart away..."

p/s: A very fine lines by a friend. A very careful in choosing words, or phrases. This will certainly touches the heart who has been broken by an unrequited love. The heart who've been broken before, shall understand this.

It's like giving your heart, just to be thrown away after all you've done. The hints, the treatments and the confessions. It's a like loving someone who love us back, just a little bit late or not loving us at all.

Oh gosh, it's like I'm reading bout myself up there!

You can follow him here at Twitter: @JamalJonerd

Yes, follow me too here: @AidaZahrol

Not Your Favorite Girl

2011-01-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

Let me copy her now
The way you always wanted
As long it keeps you contented

Let just remove my name
It's no longer excites you
It's no longer equal to us.

Let us kill my soul
I'll help you
And promise I won't cry
or bleed any.

Am I her now?

p/s: when hurt is too easy to handle.

Crushing Pot

2010-10-10T16:48:00.000+08:00

I saw regret before my eyes,
It's untouchable, irremovable.
He kissed me like Angel,
And burnt me with fire.

This is unmistakable mistake,
The haunted dream.

Like shadow from my ancestors.

Undecided

2010-05-22T18:05:00.001+08:00

Like everything I said,
Like everything I want,
Like everything, yes everything.

And burn. Burn into ashes.
Burn into the darken city.
And become the grand trashes.

After all, it's null.
Hopeless.

Hopefully it's worth something. Keep on believing.

The Lost Faith

2009-09-20T19:56:00.000+08:00

Crushed and broken,
And so she was,
In the midst of cloud.

How much she wish,
She's already at the corner,
Undecided. Still.

She is exhausted,
Of the wrong path.
She is hunger,
Of the light.

Yes, she still there,
At the crossroad.

Was written for someone I adore, my only sister - Fiz Fyza.

Sekejap

2009-06-05T14:12:00.002+08:00

Masa, tunggu sekejap.
Aku ini tercungap.
Masa, henti sebentar.
Biar dapat aku mengejar.

Untitled VI

2009-05-25T03:41:00.003+08:00

Look me into the eye,
Tell me if you see any fear,
Of longing to the sky,
When the heart no longer here.

it's cruel to be in situation where you refuse to be. either it's you create the situation or forced into the situation, it's totally unfair. Stop pretending to love when you're truly not. It's cruel. It's unfair.

Terus

2009-03-04T08:41:00.002+08:00

Alir sungai itu masih deras,
Malam juga terus sepi,
Siang juga terus hangat,
Hujan juga tetap lebat.

Hanya aku,
Mungkin hanya aku.

Terus di sini,
Tetap di sini,
Menunggu hati itu,
Jiwa itu, milikku.

Cukupkanlah derita aku,
Moga penat aku menunggu.

Tipu.

Aku tetap terus menunggu.

*Untuk jiwa yang masih melayang umpama putus talinya, mari mendakap aku

Eh?

2009-01-12T11:28:00.003+08:00

Eh,
Kenapa ya?
Terangnya malam ini,
Mendongak langit sini,
Tiada pula bintang di sana.

Eh,
Kenapa ya?
Malam lalu sejuknya menggigit,
Malam ini cuma hangat yang menggamit.

Oh ya!
Itu kamu di sisi aku.

;)

Darling, you sure angel sent for me ;) ILYFDM!!!

Untitled V

2008-12-01T14:49:00.004+08:00

Genggam kuat hati aku,
Rangkul erat jiwa aku,
Terngiang lagi suara ini,
Rasa itu enggan sembunyi.

rasa itu makin kuat :)

Untuk Hati Yang Dirobek

2008-11-09T15:16:00.001+08:00

Untuk hati yang dirobek,
Senyumlah sayang,
Biar mereka mencebik,
Dihembus angin mereka hilang.

Untuk mata yang menangis,
Meminta tolong hentikan sendu,
Sapu darah hitam di alis,
Tiada mungkin tersentuh pilu.

Untuk jiwa yang kelam,
Mentari itu masih jingga,
Pohon terangi seisi alam,
Itu milikmu, ayuh ke sana!

Untuk senyuman palsu,
Lemparkan jauh jangan kembali,
Pesonamu indah, jangan sembunyi.

Untuk akal yang celaru,
Tutupkan mata, diam sendiri,
Moga ada pari-pari kalbu,
Mengirim pedoman hadir ke sisi.

*Untuk gadis2 yang hatinya dirobek tanpa ihsan. Inspired by Fatynx's writing :)

Cinta 1

2008-11-02T15:46:00.004+08:00

Sang pujangga,
Mahu aku rasa cinta,
Dengan kamu, seperti dulu.

Sang perwira,
Petikkan aku bintang kejora,
Bersinar cerah persis senyummu,
Buat memimpin aku ke arahmu.

cinta itu tiada putus bukan?

Bintang Timur

2008-10-26T13:43:00.002+08:00

Menunggu aku di sudut itu,
Mengetap bibir terdiam bisu,
Menerjah malam mencabut bintang,
Mencari engkau seraya hilang!

Bintang timur, segera muncul!
Semakin hari aku sugul,
Moga langit tidak kelam,
Menyusul lah engkau dalam diam.

ever seen a star which fades before your eyes?

Untitled IV

2008-10-01T22:06:00.004+08:00

It was my first time saw you here,
I think I like you a bit,
Your charm catch my eyes,
I wonder if you'd ever noticed me here.

Then I saw you again,
You were smiling at me,
I'm glad,
I hope you stay that way.

But still...there were sometimes,
I want you to feel the way I feel,
Wish you'll look my way too,
This heart ache every time I think you won't.

There's no way I'll let you know,
Because I fear the rejection from you,
A smile from you is more than enough,
To me...it's more than enough.

this one written so long ago. for that stupid someone maybe~

Tentang Ilham

2008-08-24T18:25:00.001+08:00

ilham itu hilang di gusar yang panjang,
kaji ilham itu dikala tenang,
belum sempat ia tenang,
berikn ms gusar itu ditiup angin.

kala masa pun tak mengizin?
tiup sahaja angin ketenangan,
kata pada langit, dunia ini sptutnya adil,
tapi bukan kita yang tentunya adil.

adil itu sendirinya akan bertiup di telinga kita.

By Aida Zahrol & Illy on 9th August 2008

Kepergian

2008-08-21T12:00:00.001+08:00

jangan rindu,
saya jauh.

jangan tangisi,
saya pergi.

By Aida Zahrol on 18th Aug 2008

Dear Ben (The Baby of South)

2008-08-18T16:57:00.003+08:00

Dear Ben,
Between us now,
Is the wall of heaven,
But my love is unbroken,
From the day I found you,
Till the very end of my breath.

Your sight had subsides,
But your soul resides,
Right in my heart,
A place your name I carved.

My protection for you is fated,
I'll sing to you the happiest strain,
Soon you'll know the care of mine,
Is like heaven in this transient joy.

Dear Ben,
This is just a small note,
Now the world shall know,
How much I longed for you.

So rest by His eternal love,
My time will come,
And reunite with you.

To all mothers, who lost their children. We know the love is endless.

From the soul of a mother, Aida Zahrol on 14th August 2008.

jangan engkau aku

2008-08-14T10:13:00.005+08:00

jangan jadi bayang aku,
enggan hati mengaku,
jangan jadi nafas ini,
takkan kau bisa mengerti.

jangan pinta degupan itu,
mungkin kau takkan mampu,
jangan melirik irama itu,
mungkin lagumu tidak semerdu.

jangan jadi cinta aku,
kau tahu itu palsu.

sorry. i doubt your love.

Arah Hati

2008-08-14T09:08:00.003+08:00

Aku dah jemu,
Tipu helahmu,
Aku dah penat,
Bayangmu menyesat.

Berantakan jiwa ini,
Kau mengerti?
Sepi hati ini,
Kau peduli?

Terjatuh aku,
Terluka aku,
Tak nampak darahnya,
Aku merasa.

Cukup sudah,
Aku mengalah,
Kau dan aku,
Tak mungkin bersatu.

Kau di sana,
Aku di sini,
Entah ke mana,
Arahnya hati.

maybe nobody would never understand how it feels

By Aida Zahrol on her first attempt of poetry in her mother language for her missing saviour

berada di bulan

2008-08-13T21:45:00.003+08:00

Seri sungguh bulan menguning
Mungkin merindu pada si kejora
Depangkan tangan di bulan
Tutupkan mata
Perlahan dengan bukak mata
Jeritkan saja suara hati
Biar satu semesta mengagumi
Biar seantero dunia menyedari
Senyum pd dunia
Semua kata hati terlerai jua.

By Aida Zahrol and Illy on 13th August 2008

Thank You

2008-08-11T10:08:00.000+08:00

Thank you,
For once make me love again,
You and me, we're like a chain.

Thank you,
For such an affectionate affair,
A glance of you make me feel up in the air.

Thank you,
For the promises to be there,
But all I get is more despair.
As the many promises are broken,
You abstain, unspoken.

Thank you,
For the tiny hope that you gave,
It's the hope which I crave,
And for your love I'd be brave,
Perhaps it's gone to the grave.

Thank you,
For fixing up my scattered soul,
Because of you it become whole,
And for now it's broken again,
Maybe we forget it'll never retain.

And foremost thank you,

For leaving me.

By Aida Zahrol on 16th July, 2008 for her saviour

Untitled III

2008-08-11T10:03:00.001+08:00

That day I saw a boy,
Before the window he sat,
It was sunny outside,
And the rest are playing,
Running and laughing,
But he was still there,
Glancing out through the glare.

He keeps me wonder,
He is the bitter,
And as alone he kept,
It's the joyless he pick.

And as today I saw him,
Glancing out with sudden whim
Even now it's raining,
Yet the boys are still playing,
But he's still there,
Before the window.

I lean closer,
And the gaze captures,
The stare I can't deny,
Even when I try,
That the stares,
And the eyes are mine.

By Aida Zahrol on 18th April 2008, finalised on 7th August 2008 for Hembusan Nafas

The Prayer

2008-08-11T10:02:00.000+08:00

O Lord!
I will pray,
For this eyes opens for me,
For the smile breaks for me,
For the touch meant for me,
For the kisses sealed with me,
For the cuddles wrapped with me,
For the air breathe with me.

And I will never stop,
Praying, for these.

10th February 2008
0859 M.SH

Over

2008-07-22T09:49:00.000+08:00

When we start,
The thoughts of you,
Reminds me of the red roses.
The thoughts of you,
Reminds me of the huge cuddles I used to get.
The thoughts of you,
Reminds me of the luxurious kisses I ever taste.
The thoughts of you,
Fly me away across the ocean.

But then,
The thoughts of you
Gave me the pain of the roses thorns
The thoughts of you
Reminds me of the green-eyed monster
Who’s watching my back
The thoughts of you
Brings my tears streaming down my face
The thoughts of you
Brought me to the land of deaths

And after all,
Is there you and me?

By Aida Zahrol on 26th November, 2007

Distance

2008-07-18T09:48:00.000+08:00

[Dedicated for him who promised to be there]

I was dreaming of a perfect sky
Blue so bright, lighten my sight
But I was awaken in a nite full of trauma
So tragic it just like a drama.

I can not shout for help
I can not run so far
I can not move a thing
I was defective, I was a failure.

I told you its hurt
Can you feel them? I ask.
I hear your voice
Yet could not understand.

Are you talking bout me?
Or are you feeling those pains?
I wonder.

You turned your back on me
I said no! Oh please don’t…
But I was giving my pain to you
The closer we are, the painful you’ll get.

So keep your distance from me
I don’t want you to feel the hurt
The hurt I’ve been taking
Along the way of my life.

But then I will have nobody
To lay my comfort
To lay my sorrow
I have only you.

Would you still keep the distance?

By Aida Zahrol on 25th November, 2007

How Does It Feel

2008-07-18T09:46:00.001+08:00

I’ll pray to God that it’s only me,
Who’s going to know how does it feel,
Of loving you in this beautiful scenery,
But I’m afraid of the wound still not heal.

Let it only me who knows about it,
For nothing you can do about it,
To solve this misery.

I’ve become so messed up,
Maybe I should wake up,
That this feelings’ going nowhere,
Of you who never aware.

By Aida Zahrol on 13th November, 2006

Untitled II

2008-07-18T09:43:00.001+08:00

The path of my journey,
Never seems to end,
I always crossed with agony,
Which always been my friend.

The long journey of mine,
Goes beyond expectation of my own,
When I thought something was mine,
Then another minutes it's gone.

By Aida Zahrol on 12th July, 2006

The Door

2008-07-18T09:43:00.000+08:00

What is behind the door?
If it only has feelings,
I wish it has lots of love,
And beauty roses of honesty.

And if I'll only see people,
I wish there'll be only wise people,
Who see only the truth in others,
And never speak lie to others.

Or if it only has dreams,
I hope there'll be peace and harmony,
Where respect is the way,
The way of success and glory.

And if it'll be my friends,
I'll pray there'll only best friends of mine,
Who loves and trust me,
From the very start,
Untill the last breath of mine.

But what is behind the door?
I ain't open the door yet.

By Aida Zahrol on mid 2006

Remedy for NurFairuz Puteri (Ayus)

2008-07-18T09:41:00.000+08:00

All my life, I walked a journey,
To find the perfect remedy,
To heal my sorrow,
Chasing away my hollow.

I looked up at the sky at night,
No more moonlight, or starry sight,
And when the sun above horizon,
I can't feel it shone,
It ain't ignite my senses,
And spread over the places,
I looked down under the ray,
Just to see that the grass was gray,
Why everything look so dead,
Making me feels like a threat.

I saw garden of flowers before my eyes,
So serene that the colour varies,
To get there I run,
But the faster I run,
The fastest it vanished,
So I quit and shut my eyes.

If the sky was so dark, let it be,
If the sun wasn't shine, let it be,
If the grass was gray, let it be,
But don't darken my sight, nor
Taking the sun of my life, neither
Gray my heart.
Don't be sad, don't be sad.

I open my eyes widely,
It's not emptiness around me,
Just daffodils,
The happy daffodils.

I am now feel the daylight.

By Aida Zahrol on 17th November, 2005.

Darkness

2008-07-15T09:39:00.000+08:00

Darkness all over me,
I thought will be fly away,
Still lingering my body,
Shall the light chase the dark,
Maybe the coming light,
Is not the right one,
To chase the darkness.

O darkness all over me,
I kept giving the sign,
It never understand,
Shall it understand!
But it won't!

Guess it's not the right light,
Am I too blind to see the truth?
It's not the light,
It just add some darkness over me.

By Aida Zahrol on 21st August, 2005

A Young Lady

2008-07-13T09:34:00.000+08:00

A young lady, so strong,
Grasping her dreams through darkness,
A way that only she belongs,
And spend her life in sadness.

"How can I calm my heart tonight?
Trusting someone unknown,
Could he give me pride?
The pride that I wish I could own"

O Poor young lady,
You're too naive,
In this cruel world.

By Aida Zahrol, dated around late 2004 or early 2005

Untitled I

2008-07-13T09:31:00.000+08:00

I lay here alone on my bed,
Eagerly to eat an apple in red,
Watching the ceiling in gray and white,
Wondering what will happen tomorrow's nite.

I gazed at the window which opens wide,
Wish I could see the sky so bright,
Why this feeling's torturing me,
Only you can solve this misery.

I close my eyes and hear voices,
Lonely voices screaming in agony,
And I see the betrayal between those eyes,
Those eyes that I saw before me.

I try to stand proud,
But if you could see me now,
My foe is all around.

By Aida Zahrol *couldn't remember the date of this piece but surely was written during my matriculation study back on 2004/2005*

Let Me Be

2008-07-13T09:23:00.000+08:00

Let me be the person,
that you walk with in the mountains.
Let me be the person,
that you pick flowers with.
Let me be the person,
that you tell your good feelings to.
Let me be the person,
that you talk to in confidence.
Let me be the person,
that you turn to in sadness.
Let me be the person,
that you smile with in happiness.
Let me be the person,
that you sealed your lips with.
Most of all,
Let me be the person,
That you love.

Edited version by Aida Zahrol on 4th September, 2004.